My boyfriend is not a babysitter


I am a single mom who is not single.

It’s a confusing concept for a lot of people. “Why do you tag your posts #singlemom when you’re in a relationship?” Well here’s a short answer for you, curious chickadees, and it’s simple:

My boyfriend is not a parent.

If our relationship continues to progress, then somewhere down the line he will step into a parental role. Lots of men and women become incredible, involved, and committed step-parents, and Jordan may do the same if our trajectory remains consistent. But today, in our current relationship, he is not Molly’s dad. He’s not a babysitter. He does not have the right to an equal voice in the raising of my kid.

I parent. I make decisions regarding my daughter’s future, about her health, about her life. I consult with her biological father on major issues, as per our divorce agreement. Jordan supports us, loves us, plays and reads and eats with us. He’s a part of our little family, helps run the household, helps pay the rent. But he knows that right now I’m a single mom. I’m eternally grateful for his support, but also for his grace in respecting that line.

I’ll continue using the tag #singlemom for now. Using this hashtag connects me to other parents who understand this phase of my life. It connects me with moms and dads all over the world who have felt the strain of being a single parent, and allows us to support and inspire each other.

Hope this helps clear things up.


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