Things in my life I wish I could automate


My generation has moved into a state of practical automation. We have pretty much everything auto-shipped to us, and automate whatever we can get our hands on. My first encounter with practical automation was Dollar Shave Club, a company that will send you new razors for a reasonable price every month. In the same vein, I get replacement toothbrushes and water pitcher filters dropped in my mailbox on a regular basis for no more than it would cost me to go out and buy them. Now, I don’t have to remember to buy them, which itself is worth it’s weight in gold when you are as insanely busy as I am.

This set-it-and-forget-it system for practical use products is to my generation what auto bill pay was to my parents. In the spirit of supporting young entrepreneurs who are looking for their particular set-it-and-forget-it gold mine, here are three proposals I have for the things that I would love to automate in my life. Feel free to steal.

1. My facial expression/body language when something unexpected happens. I am not great at reacting outwardly the way I react inwardly. It has been observed to me on many occasions by people who love me that the more excited or happy I am about something the more I clam up. This can be very confusing, particularly when coupled with the resting bitch face that I, thankfully, only experience before coffee. I am also a nervous giggler, which can be even more confusing when the situation is one of sadness or trauma and I am laughing like the Joker. I propose some sort of system that allows me to create predetermined reactions for different types of situations, and tells my brain when and how to react properly.

2. Some sort of database for all the witty one-liners I come up with when I’m alone. I walk in the mornings, and during that quiet time I frequently think of all the funny and clever remarks that I could be making to people. Of course, I never think of these remarks in the moment. I propose some sort of system that allows me to file these away in a portion of my brain where they will be automatically retrieved when an opportunity presents itself. Think of it like a caching system or a queue for all of my one-liners and comebacks.

3. Eye makeup. Seriously, automated eyeliner that does my makeup for me perfectly every single time. Preferably while I’m sleeping so I wake looking like Rhianna. 
You are welcome.

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